|Moonscape – ready for grouting|
I am realising that how I feel internally is not necessarily related to how much I achieved (or didn’t) or how many steps forward I took (or didn’t take). I actually achieved a fair amount this week…my commission is finished, just needs grouting (and I am really, really pleased with how it turned out). I have done lots of prep for my mosaic workshops at the Skylark Gallery next week (which I am looking forward to). I am discussing my next commission with a client (a very exciting project). All is well.
But somehow my feeling of being sharp, focussed, sparky and full of creative energy has eluded me. It started two weeks ago with a blanket of deep exhaustion that would fall on me every afternoon. It’s got a bit better but hasn’t quite lifted. I have been short tempered and snappy with my children (they are at that stage where they both have to be first) and when I am depleted of energy, I get that panic feeling of “I can’t do this parenting thing…its just too hard” (anyone else feel that way?).
I have had to push myself to do the things I love… a strange state of being as I do not normally lack in the motivation department and am the sort of person that dives headfirst into projects. It has left me wondering what is going on with me. Is it a physical thing or a deeper, inner issue that is draining me of my energy? I don’t yet have an answer…but there it is…that’s me this week. Subdued…a little flat and tearful.
I am blessed with having around me an amazing bunch of creative women. This group has formed out of my neighbourhood mum friends and bloggy connections who all happen to live locally (how lucky are we?). Every two weeks, we have started meeting together for ‘creative nights’ (a revival of the creative evenings I ran in my studio last year). We take turns to host and simply bring something to make as we sit and chat.
On Friday, deeply exhausted, I plodded over to Amelia’s with my sketchbook and pens. I figured that just sitting and sketching some new designs for mosaics would do me good – don’t you find that just starting something releases energy? Tired though I was, I was grateful for the opportunity to sit with other creative and honest people, in a safe and loving space, and just make.
Tell us about your week…whether it was full of energy, jobs done and successes to celebrate….or not. There is room for all parts of us here. x